Males
vs Females (Computer Male or Female??)
Recently,
a group of computer scientists (all male) announced that computers
should be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing
this conclusion follows:
No one but the creator understands her internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
The message "Bad command or file name" is about as
informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm
certainly not going to tell you."
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later
retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.
However,
another group of computer scientists (all female) thinks that
computers should be referred to as if they were males. Their reasons
follow:
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
ARE the problem.
As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a
little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
In order to get their attention; you have to turn them on.
Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
Computers
vs Cars
At a recent computer expo, Microsoft CEO, Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with auto industry and stated
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000
miles/gallon."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the
statement "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a
day?"
Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and
fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange
reason, you would accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you
bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would
have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only
run on five percent of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a
single "general car default" warning light.
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going
off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what
happened.
IT
Husband
Husband: (returning late from work) "Good
Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
Wife: Have you brought the ring?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife: But I told you in the morn...
Husband: Erroneous syntax.
Wife: What about my new blouse?
Husband: Variable not found
Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I
want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access
denied...
Wife: Do you love me or do you only love
computers or are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters. Abort!
Wife: It was a grave mistake that I married
an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife: You are a useless nut.
Husband: Default Parameter.
Wife: What about your Salary?
Husband: Access denied. File in use...
Wife: Who was in the car this morning?
Husband: System unstable. Press CTRL + ALT
+ DEL to Reboot.
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Joke Break